Good Sunday morning folks.
Last night was a hard night, the lady I take care of had a really hard night. If you happen by this then please say a prayer for her.
As I sit here this morning, I had not realized time had changed today looked at the clock and the dvr time and both were different. I hate savings time changes, why cant they leave it like it is and then we would never have to change the clocks.
So I have my coffee and wondering what else this day will bring, I am so hoping for good things, its been a rough week and since I actually got my full meds last night I sure feel better today.
Let me know how you all are doing today , give me a reason to keep blogging, since I am new to it and would love to read some other blogs that are inspirational.
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Friday, November 2, 2012
Another night of no sleep
Im so tired......... and no sleep comes tonight, lord knows I need it, but the roommate is snoring so damn loud that sleep is impossible.
The lady I am currently taking care of however is sleeping soundly and that is what counts ( right).
Im so pissed off and irritable that all I could do is come here and type until my eyes close. It never fails that the one time you really need sleep you cant get it.
We have an appt tomorrow at 1 for some bone treatment, and then maybe I can come home and rest. (ugh) the appt times suck and Im not doing this for the pay but damn it sure helps. I feel unappreciated and underpaid on some days and others I feel good about what I am doing and am glad to help out. The girlfried of the lady I care for is a pain in the ass she bitches about the stupidest shit . Never happy with anything just negative all the time, sometimes I think she wants M to just die and not try to beat this illness that has taken over her body. Its the most unfair thing I have ever seen. She is the single most selfish person I think I have ever had the time of day with, nasty attitude and unrelenting anger with her its hard to deal but if I leave no one will be here for M.
Her caretaker is a friend of mine and we are couped up in a 8 by 10 room with little or no privacy to have time alone, and my wonderful hubs is supposed to be coming down but money is tight and its probably not going to happen. (sucks)
My son rolled his truck on halloween , More on that when tomorrow comes.
The lady I am currently taking care of however is sleeping soundly and that is what counts ( right).
Im so pissed off and irritable that all I could do is come here and type until my eyes close. It never fails that the one time you really need sleep you cant get it.
We have an appt tomorrow at 1 for some bone treatment, and then maybe I can come home and rest. (ugh) the appt times suck and Im not doing this for the pay but damn it sure helps. I feel unappreciated and underpaid on some days and others I feel good about what I am doing and am glad to help out. The girlfried of the lady I care for is a pain in the ass she bitches about the stupidest shit . Never happy with anything just negative all the time, sometimes I think she wants M to just die and not try to beat this illness that has taken over her body. Its the most unfair thing I have ever seen. She is the single most selfish person I think I have ever had the time of day with, nasty attitude and unrelenting anger with her its hard to deal but if I leave no one will be here for M.
Her caretaker is a friend of mine and we are couped up in a 8 by 10 room with little or no privacy to have time alone, and my wonderful hubs is supposed to be coming down but money is tight and its probably not going to happen. (sucks)
My son rolled his truck on halloween , More on that when tomorrow comes.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Sometimes you just cant shut up
So one of the ladies I live in a house with told me today that I talk way to much, that she only says something when its important (bullshit).
When you sit in a house for hours on end not saying shit to anyone but the dogs and cats its nice to have someone to talk to. Well not this chick.
Im so tired of all the negative that comes from her, and she is more moody than me, but hell no you cant tell her that she will go off like a bottle rocket.
Why is it when you are bi polar people always assume its that acting up instead of you just being able to express how you feel without it being an episode? Fuck that.
I have been the same with this shit for years, always thinking always talking or being somewhat creative. Someone please tell me that you are like that too.
When you sit in a house for hours on end not saying shit to anyone but the dogs and cats its nice to have someone to talk to. Well not this chick.
Im so tired of all the negative that comes from her, and she is more moody than me, but hell no you cant tell her that she will go off like a bottle rocket.
Why is it when you are bi polar people always assume its that acting up instead of you just being able to express how you feel without it being an episode? Fuck that.
I have been the same with this shit for years, always thinking always talking or being somewhat creative. Someone please tell me that you are like that too.
In the words of my mom..............
I finally decided to start writing about my experiences with having depression and bi polar. My mother said you will be like me, you look like me and you act like me, but I think not.
I think the worst thing you can do is compare yourself to another persons disease when each person is affected differently.
I have the mania, and explosive shit going on but after 30 yrs of dealing with this shit I think Ive earned the right to have a say in what works for me and what doesnt.
I dont give a shit what others think about me and how I live, but I care what my friends and family see me as. Not that it ever mattered before but now it does for some reason.
I have done wonders with my issues but they still exist no matter how hard I try to hide it. Those that know me well enough know when to and not to say stupid shit to me.
This year has been super stressful and I finally found a place to let it out and write freely about things in every day life.
I think the worst thing you can do is compare yourself to another persons disease when each person is affected differently.
I have the mania, and explosive shit going on but after 30 yrs of dealing with this shit I think Ive earned the right to have a say in what works for me and what doesnt.
I dont give a shit what others think about me and how I live, but I care what my friends and family see me as. Not that it ever mattered before but now it does for some reason.
I have done wonders with my issues but they still exist no matter how hard I try to hide it. Those that know me well enough know when to and not to say stupid shit to me.
This year has been super stressful and I finally found a place to let it out and write freely about things in every day life.
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